My mom has always told me to seize an opportunity because you can only learn from them. Being the daughter of a strong independent women who traveled to the United States at a young age makes me feel special. She has and will continue to make me me the person that I am. She has done so much for my sister and I. Growing up we were fortunate to have friends and family who helped us out in every way possible. I will forever appreciate the people that I have surrounded myself with. As I grew older I began to realize that you become who you surround yourself with. I have had my difficulties with creating relationships that will last but I have also came to the conclusion that the only way a relationship will last is if both people put in the effort to communicate and care for each other.
A few months after turning 16 I had someone very close and dear to me come in and out of my life, several times. This caused me to have many negative emotions about myself and the people I knew. I struggled to focus on myself and my family because the only thing I could think about was that person. My mom and I went through a very difficult time in our lives. I was very negative at the time and I felt those emotions seep through my body, leading me to change the way I acted. I began to feel like I could not forgive all the people involved in the situation. I had felt an emotional pain I had never felt before — like I had been hit by a softball, on my chest, leaving a big bruise on my heart. Thus far, I have learned more about forgiveness and the mental impact that grudges have.
As a way to deal with the pain, I immersed myself in school activities. I began running more, getting ready for the track season. I became the manager of the junior varsity soccer team, and I learned more about the game than I ever had, in my entire life. I enjoyed being on the dance team even more. The one thing I did not do, for quite a while, was talk about my emotions and hang out with the people I loved; I shut myself up. I was scared to expose myself and my family for the actions of someone else, because of judgment and pity others may have.
I argued with myself the most, trying to think of ways I could avoid the subject, in order to move on. As I continued with my life being hurt once again, and again, and again, I repeatedly told myself, “I’m used to this. It gets easier every time. I know what’s coming.” Hiding the feelings that I had, forced me to having several hidden breakdowns. I couldn’t possibly talk to my friends because they would not understand. My family was as upset as I was, I could not let them see me like this.
After several months, I could no longer hide it. It felt relieving to be able to talk to my friends, and others willing to listen, giving feedback and words of encouragement. Many people got involved in my life, helping me discuss my feelings in a healthy manner. I became more open and realistic with myself and I began to understand the several ways people can get so caught up in their lives that they begin to make bad decisions without thinking. I learned that some people are not going to care at all what your problems are. That is when I realized the true power relationships can hold. My community at church gave me words of encouragement, my family and friends gave me support and advice, everyone showed me love. I truly do not know why the person left, but what I do know now is that our relationship grew stronger and our trust in each other grew. I learned to forgive myself and others. We still have a lot of growing up to do and sometimes people will never be able to give an explanation for their mistakes, but in life, we can only learn from them. I became stronger.